thoughts unfolded

:)

2011-04-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

taking a walk back to the pavilion in pain , limping and disappointed. He could have taken a wicket or two , just thought He had his outswingers going before this happened. The way to pavilion seemed long enough ....
I am planning to write down my story on PagalGuy. A website meant for MBA aspirants which has a thread named All I Want To Say About Cat. Its a dream to actually get yourself on that thread ,to make your story inspire others. But I finds an uncanny resemblance of my story to those of others. The pang of missing out the dream undergrad college coz of similar reason.,family ,friend ,girl ,peer pressure ,you name it . I thought of giving it my flavor, telling them about a boy who loved his sports though couldn't play as his parent loved his Report card. A guy who everybody thought was the wonder kid of the family. He still remembers the comment by his maths teacher on his answer sheet and also the demeanor of his hero when he failed for the first time.
When i joined my college, my father was taking a walk with me on the first day. He turned around to me and said "No topper has ever walked on this road" , an initial reaction would have been to break down for a kid who never knew what criticism was all about. But surprisingly he thought "4 years and one will walk back".
"Just one more time" has been said for enough time by me and will remain the order for the rest of my life. My Previous blogpost reads the end of the road but this one is just one more time..just one more post to give this stupid boy's blog a fitting end.Incoherent posts always done deliberately to show reader a glimpse of his psyche which very few understood. Trying out humour coz thats the only way you can make people go through the entire blog. My opinion on issues never mattered.Demeaning oneself to try and create a contrast and escape with a loose post by virtue of it. I tried out different things , failed and tried just one more time.
As i write what certainly is THE LAST POST ON THIS BLOG , i look forward to a countless opportunities that i 'll have by virtue of a certain college that i am going to.As i think about my post on AIWTSAC and point out how i was the one guy who made a day last for 25 hours and put in that extra hour to try and get what i loved , just one more time.As i risk the entire effort of mine to give this blog an entry under the "ordinary and banal humour" category with this last post of mine, I remember the bowler who went to the match again , tried his heart out just one more time and bowled a perfect outswinger starting at middle and taking off the top of off stump and grunt in joy. That little moment he had kept for himself, though the first one but at the end looks at his captain , one of the many captains he had in his life. His Parents, coach, love , friends and now the captain of him team. Looks for an admiration and says "Aye Captain , I did it for You" !

...And the wheel stopped !!!

2011-02-04T12:26:00.000-08:00

This has been my space for long certainly not a blockbuster.

Bye Bye...abhishek911 , you were not bad, I think :)

Aan ode to the String and the Curves

2010-05-27T23:24:00.000-07:00

Starting confused, with only wish to write,
A song which I ll compose with the string I ll buy..
With no notes or genre in place,
And no money to save my face…
In a desperate mood to frame a song,
To whatever crap it mite belong..
With an attempt to make it rhyme,
As if it’s a school day poem or street side chimes…
But don’t expect much of me,
I don’t know how to write,
Please excuse for what it might be…
And let it go for the honesty…

Starting the second Para…again confused,
Looking at the first …giving some rues..
So should I listen and borrow some lines..
And put them in a way no one will notice,
Making it better , but deep down I realize..
I am not the only one , you might be doing the same,
Sharing a common string, only a greater shame..
So I must tell u again,
I don’t know how to write,
Please excuse for what it might be…
And let it go for the honesty…

Looking at the way its rhyming,
Makes me feel like a kid vying
For the grades in his English paper,
As the wish for writing original taper..
But I don’t know the other way out,
Not intelligent enough for the ideas to sprout…
So don’t expect wisdom from me
As I remind as I have always been…
I don’t know how to write,
Please excuse for what it might be…
And let it go for the honesty…

So I end the agony, I know its disgrace,
The song I ‘ll write.. it better be at my place..
The moment it comes across to people I know,
They will ridicule me for the naivety I show..
But it is not meant for the glory …
Neither to top the chart
So I ll better remind what,
I have been good at..
I don’t know how to write,
Please excuse for what it might be…
And let it go for the honesty…

The Trivia of a Dead Skin

2010-05-27T09:00:00.000-07:00

Not long ago it came as a replacement, “you will be stronger”, mistaking numbness with yet another adjective. The master of all crime keeps on sending wrong messages via electric waves which works faster than Google may be not as inaccurate but still enough to let it believe of his longevity.
“Yep, I will try to but please save me from heat”, pity…lying on the floor dead, he never understood it was supposed to be a body in a place where microwave oven is as extinct as common sense. It felt the lack of warmth for the first time, another irony.
He felt cheated and thought this was a conspiracy, the master thinks of “blood, toil and tear” as a romanticism but we are the one who feel the pain. “Why can’t they let us live in peace?” remembering the frequent Goosebumps the master perpetrated, “one’s happiness is other’s misery”. Death and for that matter grief makes Shakespeare out of anybody, at least that is what it thinks. May be wrong coz it has just started thinking ,owing to his disassociation with the master, which is not in vogue since the internet came.
It remembers the most beautiful feeling it had when after being struck by a ball, which at first caused an instant pain was followed by a sense of nothing…numbness they say, nonsense the reader might think of this post in its entirety, “are we on cocaine?” asked to the adjoining one, who had felt it before and was saved by cheap generic medicine of India, “No it isn’t…pray to God”
“Rubbish”, it was a prey to his ignorance rather; “This feels so good” .Unfortunately the neighbor died just like him, ignorance is contagious or may be fate of similar. The days that followed were bliss, with no electric signals coming, but lotions…”I hate it, they suffocate”. A constant sufferer of all sorts of feeling made a cynic out of it. The days passed by and the inevitable struck.” Bye, Bye I am a newbie here, you gotta go bro...” said the replacement.
“Look at the way it speaks, the class is gone”, lamented at his death bed. Remembering all that has passed by, the death for him is no beginning coz it doesn’t belong to Hollywood. “It was wonderful being there” said in his gentlemanly tone and started waiting for the bacteria to feast.

Bihar,Barack and my Political Idealism

2010-03-18T14:24:00.000-07:00

15 months since Barack brought the “change” and few months left for Bihar election to occur. Strange comparison but Barack to me signifies the change misplaced in terms of expectation of the intelligentsia of my state. I belong to the legacy of Macaulay, I belong to the intellectual (don’t raise your eyebrows!!) English speaking class who loves to opine. I was born in the late 1980’s in a politically engrossed family, where political affinity was completely dependent on the potential leverage out of it. Throughout my formative years I saw the laws of land been bent, broken leaving it in tatters to benefit people I am closed to. As I near my graduation with obvious expectation of people around me to know my leanings, I have some serious introspection to do. I remember, when Barack was shouting aloud to bring the change in America there was an instant connect with him because he was the personified aspiration of the young English educated youngsters of India. But America is not Bihar and Barack is no Nitish. I have seen and observe the political imbroglio to the best of my capacity and it makes me sad because as a young man in search of idealism, it leaves me with two options. Either accepts the fidelity to an idealism and fail. But it that case you will always be revered for your fidelity or harmonize your self with the complex and intricate social stratification and take advantage out of it. It was so easy during American election to line up your leaning as your naïve political understanding of US coupled with a very filmy plot of one person coming out of 100 years of racial discrimination made Barack an obvious choice. In Bihar things are different. We don’t vote for change, we vote for status quo. We vote so because the “righteous” anti-establishment force of our state is too busy and engrossed in pontification and they don’t provide us with an option. Barack, now for me is much more than a Nobel laureate US president. He to me signifies the comfort we seek by not actually going through the pain of our political system but rather have a false sense of idealism. Come this December, We will have an important decision to make. But will that decision be right or wrong, this needs my immediate attention. Coz as a student of science, I know that a sense of right or wrong comes from a set of rules it adheres to. In realms of politics, it’s the idealism, the empirical formula which I haven’t found yet.

My Six Strings and million dollar...Rubbish

2010-03-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

“You are at first down” these were the first words which I found was worth savoring. Yes, after umpteen months of looking at the field from third man and waiting for my turn
To bat up the order was finally there. I was out third ball, bowled, and it took me 3 more matches to finally bat again. For all those days at third man I made plan of how with one inning I will change the course of the game, but it never happened for 2 years I guess.20 odd runs and a catch I remember were my first heroic deeds. Till then talking of achievements I had straight A from school, couple of scholarship and many credentials which never gave the big O to me, my innings did. And after few more years of my cricketing career it was time to hang my boots. Did I??
STATUS- Failed.

I tried and was almost there. I was 11 but still I could have done better. My first poem was garbage, but for my first story I tried really hard. I read it and understood it was not meant to be told. I hated my English classes because I made too many grammatical errors ,had a limited vocabulary , couldn’t speak as good as my sisters and yes I wanted to sound sophisticated which I never could. Colonial hangover takes a bit long time, may be a life time but it was hard to escape from it. Coming back to my story it was about a boy who ran away, met three people, wrote three poems and came back. But it was tasteless, “English can never challenge Mathematics” I said, and moved on.

STATUS- Fugitive

“She is the second one” I proudly claimed to my friend, and I was 16. Yes ,she was only the second one who despite of being attractive by my predetermined and deeply researched parameters didn’t ended up in the bed by my naive figment of imagination. “She should be understood” said I and my friend laughed at me. I promptly used my F-word and then told of telling others about his fascination with our math’s teacher and it worked. “I need to talk”, said I and she is the only one I couldn’t speak to. What a shame, I am listening to Simon and Garfunkel number, Mrs Robinson, while writing this and I just can’t get her out of my mind. My math’s teacher off course

STATUS- Classified.

arbit

2010-02-17T10:16:00.000-08:00

The door is getting unlocked I guess but then can’t it wait till I glean my thoughts….”hey I am finally showing mercy isn’t I” words came from outside. “Is it, really?” I said, tick of clock makes the reason so stronger, but then do I need this? What is stopping me…..Uncertainty, not really, may be a bit of inertia but Newton wasn’t a psychologist. “Hey, you attempted to break free ,you must be so happy now” came the voice, “yes I did, was I foolish” said I ,”certainly not all of them does the same”, that makes me part of crowd “sad” I said. “What did you do all the while?”The voice isn’t letting me concentrate on future, “why you want to know?”, “It will keep us occupied”
“who want to?” I thought; “nothing, there was no one to see me, so I was as good as naked”, “invisible you mean”, “no, not really, naked”.”hey, that is dangerous there would have been cracks in the adjoining walls” that jolted Me.” yes there were indeed, but no body was peeping through” too much of presumptions, hope they were true. “I am almost done here” glad was the voice, “so am I” not really sure of.

SH*T HAPPENS

2009-03-13T11:33:00.001-07:00

7 months since I wrote anything……………well it certainly points to my creative juices being sapped away but I must admit that it wasn’t the case. Even after using this punching pad called computer or whatever I do still not exist in harmony with it. My operating system crashed twice in these 7 months causing a loss of 5 articles which to me is a calamity of gigantic proportion.

One of them was a straight from heart story of my tryst with fairer sex and I must tell you the computer did a fitting climactic end by crashing and personified my story to a T.
My other story was the one which I didn’t wanted to tell at the first place. It took me a while to write about it and much more audacity to go ahead and almost open it for people to read. But my system, I suppose, is shyer than me.

But now I an raring to go …………write my usual crap with my newer version of operating system and hope I won’t be telling my system this time round……………

Bol bol why did u ditched me WHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BROKEN LEG OF A TRIPOD

2008-08-07T12:05:00.000-07:00

21 long years have passed by and now after all these years for some inexplicable reason a provocating thought crossed my mind. The introspection took me onto a long tour of my small and eventful (pun intended) life. How much have I changed from a 13 year old boy who had nothing to do but to think all day about cricket, cribbing about homework, complaining about insipid dinner and umpteen such inconsequential things. I can surely say that my life was all those years were nothing but a tripod. It was all on the mercy of its three legs. Hope, fun and cricket. My insanity is personified with these words but it was my reality. For all those years I was busy doing nonsense in my classes, come rushing to home, giving nod to my dog to come along with me and find the ball whenever I smashed it into bushes, making a sorry looking face in front of my teacher for not doing my homework. It was all fun.
But sooner or later the cruel reality sets in making your life a complete mess. Fun part was all dried up. Gave up cricket knowing well that however mad I am about it I was not going to be the next big thing in it not even in my colony for that sake. Then all of a sudden iit bug struck me with all the friends making plan about it. Fun was gone, cricket vanished but hope stayed but wasn’t enough to get me through. My dream (still not sure about it) came crashing down. Now, I read somewhere success retains you as boy failure makes you a man. Whoever loser had said it to save his face did a fine job for me as I sought an instant solace in it.
Life moved on, though my tripod was gone with its legs missing but one of them was always with me. Hope, the mother of all illusion. A very spark which at times burns the fabric of rational thinking leading to defeat on other hand an iota of light showing the path to success. Hope, the quintessential human weakness survived the holocaust. I proudly own it, plenty of it and am sure that eventually it will alone make a better structure than my tripod. So I am keeping all hopes pinned on my Hope, the broken leg of my tripod………………………………

SADNESS OF INEVITABLE

2008-05-16T05:24:00.000-07:00

Prime numbers have been my favorite mates for more than 5 yrs now. I always believed I could find an answer in them as to how they distribute themselves in the number system. But I never got a concrete answer but I did realize something. They are like our most important part of lives as when we remove all patterns from the number system we are left with them akin that momentous part having no definite rule to follow with spontaneity being the sole essence of it. But these prime numbers are interrupted with all sorts of regular numbers which makes the system a bit of a bore. They follow rules and anybody who defies them is deemed wrong and that is painful. We find our lives aplenty of these and I call them inevitables. There are umpteen instances when you try to bend these inevitable only to lose in the end.
For some inexplicable reason everything we dislike or rather bore us bears a sign of inevitability.
Coming back to the number system it really fills me with awe for how beautifully it resembles our lives. It’s like 54 55 56 57 58 59…….. To remove your doubts on my sanity I will explain this…. Enrolling in your class, attending classes, hanging out with friends, bunking classes, taking your exams and ooooooooops….. Getting a really nasty result …how the hell it occurred…… screwed it big time….
If you still haven’t got it, its like first five numbers are regular numbers which are inevitable and are represented by the first five incidents. And the last one?? The result now that is something totally inexplicable …the prime number you see. The name is indicative of its effect PRIME, holds the utmost interest, and is either a big jolt or an ecstasy.
The inevitable though were greater in number and yet they are forgotten easily. But my feeble mind was not that feeble to let its sadness go unheeded. We always take them for granted and that would hurt it (I love personification….) but have you realized the fact that these sorry looking , rigid yet timid incidents have a larger role to play while shaping the PRIME incident of our lives…… the most unexpected and important at the same time are all a continuum of such inevitable. They hold the key to this intriguing problem. That just is the hint for me to realize that perhaps understanding the importance of regular numbers (inevitables) is important to understand the intricate problem of prime numbers distribution.
In the process I could well be cheering up the otherwise saddened inevitables as their happiness will bring the same in my life. May be, ignorance is not always bliss

Post script:: The one month hiatus was all because of 58 and now I am sitting in my home hoping 59 do not let me down this time.

Ts

2008-04-13T10:20:00.000-07:00

My keen observing behavior (I refrain from this habit of mine in classroom lectures) has landed me another opportunity of writing a crap and here I go……………..
Walking down the campus I have noticed a profound presence of one-liners written on the t-shirts. I must say, these one-liners are great source of inspiration (usual Indian way of calling plagiarism) when you run out of your own original ideas, which are dead and dry wits anyway, and pick a few of them. Most interesting of them is provided by Reebok…..I am what I am…..what the hell who isn’t what he is. My feeble mind couldn’t interpret the inner message which one of my friend explained me. According to him such people are sure of who they are and present them in the same way ……they want to say that they lack hypocrisy. I laughed and was in splits on his philosophical interpretation…… it seems they have attained nirvana akin lord Buddha knowing their inner self free from hypocrisy….anyways I do get a disgusted glares from proud owners(rather wearers) when I continuously glances at them trying to comprehend what is written . May be this freak habit of mine of understanding every nuance of it might land me in trouble soon…..but anyways, another one says “my father is an ATM” ….I really want to ask him/her how exactly his father works….. I mean the ATM card must be put into his mouth and where does the money comes from……..well, ahh leave it.
A lot of them sound too philosophical ……. sometimes throwing frenzy of emotions and then I get desperately anxious to use them and I really haven’t find a time when it was aptly used. It is almost incongruous with situation. One of them was (can’t stop quoting them) 99 percent of girls are beautiful and rest 1 percent are in my college. I don’t agree with it for sure (hope my college girls are reading this), there are beautiful girls around but the point that really hurts me is that those 99 percent girls are still elusive. I really can’t find them. So it seems it was a piece of exaggerated stuff akin our politician’s promise. I wonder whether these t-shirts are fabricated by philosophers. Aristotle, Kant, Socrates and all other wonderful people must be having a strong sense of envy for not being able to live in such era because they could have done quite some business for writing such one-liners so rather than having contemporary brands we could had something like……. flying Aristotle, Kant outlaw ….. But anyways I surely feel the contemporary philosophy has undergone a paradigm shift and is principally evident from these one line of wisdom. Seems people have stopped wearing their heart on their sleeves rather prefers to wear their mind on their Ts.

OBJECTIVISM

2008-04-08T11:10:00.000-07:00

My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute.”
My tryst with the Ayn Rand’s philosophy of objectivism has started just a while back. It wasn’t a completely new point of view but too blasphemous in our spiritually inclined social structure where pseudo-moral high grounds hold it’s sway. But as an arbit writer (that’s what I have started thinking myself as), my penchant for making unusual comparison with an obscure topic gave me the impetus to go for this blog.
Our Indian society which for years taught us the lesson of collective responsibility is for ever ignored and a “selfish” self actualization approach is widespread. But do these words of Ayn Rand defy the lessons which we took to remain in “touch” with our tradition. This dichotomy, or for few hypocrisy (I hate this word coz this is the most overrated vice), has been an integral part of ours.
Indian foreign policy (here comes my anything and everything comparison) has been obeying the objectivism of late. The Tibetan crisis has been immorally overlooked in similar fashion to Myanmar. All blogs around the world is buzzing with severe criticism of china and other countries. But as objectivism will put it, the own self is the highest morality. The rising India looks itself as the next superpower and hence taking another prospective superpower on its head for a small buffer country will surely mean a suicidal piece of pseudo-moral stand in today’s realms. The blood of few Tibetan does not have the much required bargaining value for a considerable action. Dalai Lama’s so called cultural genocide is too much of an overrated piece of allegation to make it heard in the corridors of diplomacy. Years of Su Kyi struggle is too little in comparison with the vast gas reserves Myanmar holds which is “strategically imperative” for a long term “development ” of our country. The Iraq or Afghanistan are too unimportant in the map of world to be opposed even tough blood of thousands flow coz ultimately it leads to a better and strategic tie with the USA. We are too perturbed with the ongoing sub prime mortgage crisis due to the burst of housing bubble in the USA. That concerns us because it will slow down our economy, the loss of lives of thousand doesn’t.
I salute our policy framers for coming out with such fantastic following of objectivism.
It is hard for a feeble mind like me to comprehend the finer points of this philosophy but I believe Ayn Rand would have expected better.

he and HE

2008-04-04T11:46:00.000-07:00

he never believed in HIM though everybody else did. For him everything which mattered was his own abilities on which he had a great faith and would never resort on HIM to help him out or to make him believe that HIS divine intervention was much higher then his own effort. Days unfolded and the rude shock of reality took him by surprise. he was shattered on his own defeat but couldn’t get in terms with what people had to offer coz they said may be HE didn’t saw it happening. This was not acceptable to him and he still didn’t believe HIM. he underwent days of retrospect and attributed all his failures to HIM because that was the common notion. HE won over him.
Clock ticked in its own usual way and the desired result still eluded him. he was still looking for that one break that will see him through ….. he stopped believing in HIM but this disapproval was a new one. It wasn’t the arrogance of youth but a belief which had far more substance and a lot more sense. It was the breaking away of earlier shackles of ignorance and a new beacon of hope emerged.
he now is a new version of old himself who is ready to prove that it is entirely his own effort that will see him through and HE is neither required nor responsible. In fact he believe at the end of his journey he will prove that HE don’t exist rather HE is he.

BAD IS THE NEW GOOD

2008-04-03T09:01:00.000-07:00

The talk of declining moral values has been one of the most frequent topics for public discourse. It is occupying the mental landscape for long but are we really correct to point out that the preconceived notion of good and bad really holds good in contemporary realms. Aren’t we overreacting and creating much ado about nothing. The threat of impending moral doom is too much of an inconsequential piece of social engineering.
We can not just sit down and pontificate without looking into the depth of the problem and I truly believe I have a more concrete and consequential answer to this intriguing problem.
A popular belief holds that we have lost our sense of good and bad but they have to realize what is good and what is bad? Who decides them, people who have died scores of years ago and don’t have any idea about what future holds or is it we the present who decides our course of actions taking into account the inclusive welfare of our people.
The right and the wrong are just a code of law which should aim at the benefit of an individual and the sustainable advantage of community. With changing time, the views changes and so does our action.
Take for instance the harbhajan- Symonds fiasco, we Indians were for some divine reasons were supposed to show our pity face while having a nasty words from our adversary. That was supposed to be the good Indian way of handling such situation.
What a shame? But this lad from Punjab had different views, he didn’t believe in the preconceived notion of good and thus he gave it back. He fought with vigor and left no stone unturned to make sure he wins whatever it takes. And the rest is history. What was bad had gradually established itself as good.
Our domestic lives and the parent-child relation have improved dramatically. The child is no longer afraid to discuss his matters and in return parents are willing to lend a heeding and concerned ear to them. The taboo of discussing adolescent matters which for years had a disapproving gesture from the moral police has just been breached and it has proved instrumental for the child’s development.
The hip hop culture of the youth has always been a centre stage for quintessential moral degradation. They don’t like them partying, moving around and enjoying their lives. But why should we see life as a demanding test, why can’t we befriend our lives and amble along with it enjoying every nuances of it. The astounding success this youth is bringing in this country is known to all and thus we are in every right able enough to decide the good and the bad. The saffron brigade might think valentine day as a threat to their morality but the youth is ready to defy their might because the strength of their love and the desire to express is too much for them to not only comprehend but also suppress. Bad influence or whatever you say can go for a walk and to give it an answer in our language we don’t give it a damn.
Another interesting example is our economy. 200 years of colonial rule made us suffer from the Victorian prudence. The raj crippled our thought process and when they left the aftereffect was felt when we resorted to pseudo-socialism. The conspicuous consumption was regarded bad and is even put forth today by an eminent politician. But the likes of Mallyas, Ambanis and other don’t belong to this school of thought. They have worked relentlessly to acquire such wealth. Not only super riches but also the rising middle class is doing the same.
Talking of entertainment industry the publicity whether it’s good or bad hardly matters until it gives you ample space in page 3.Thats how it works for them professionally and should be left with them.
These examples can be given all walks of life where the dead certainties of bad is breached and is made into acceptable , applicable action to follow and that’s for me is good.
In this era the good comes to bad and the bad comes to good and those people who have pretensions of moral police who believes that they have the prerogative of good and the bad, people like an insane demagogue from Maharastra, who thinks has the virtue of right and wrong, the purist who with his myopic vision has failed to see the world changing can have a candid piece of advices from an engineer like me. If electricity comes from electrons then probably such morality comes from morons.

BAD IS THE NEW GOOD

2008-04-03T08:43:00.000-07:00

FOLLOWING ARE TWO PIECE OF SPEECHES(VIEW AND COUNTERVIEW) I WROTE FOR MY LITERARY FEST BUT COULDN'T GET INTO FINAL ROUND TO SPEAK DUE TO VERY AVERAGE JUDGES(trust me for this)

India, our country has always been the torchbearer and the fountain of spiritual wisdom. Our culture inculcated a sense of right and wrong in people with clear demarcation. The ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ were not easy to formulate. These came out of hundreds of years of collective wisdom of great people who envisaged the importance of these act to make our society virtuous and united. Our culture reminds us of moral consciousness with which we are expected to act. Disobeying these ethics was seen as a petty way of seeing reality, for those of noble consciousness following them was imperative.
These rights and wrongs can be classified as good and bad which for years didn’t interconvert. But after so many years a paradigm shift is apparently visible in our society. For many people with pretensions of sage envisage that there is nothing called soul and destroy the prestige of moral imperatives. In the sad picture of our society the lust for power, yearning for luxury has become the ultimate morality. For them the bad is the new good.
But I am sorry for them, it can never be so. It is hard for me to believe that the bank of morality, the bank of righteousness has just gone bankrupt. It is hard for me to believe that the thousands of years of relentless pursuit of our forefathers to make us aware of good and bad has been not only forgotten but completely reversed to cause an embarrassment to them. So what can I do? All I can do is to prove that the contemporary attitude is a road to frustration, anxiety and probable collapse.
Talking of India in the realms of contemporary polity, a school of thought suggested that
The introduction of separatist and caste based politics will pay rich dividend, for them this bad concept hitherto was a good one to satiate their lust for power. They succeeded but India failed. Our social fabric was shattered.
The rise of mindless capitalism in our country used our resources for the benefit of few. The development wasn’t an inclusive but still people went gung ho about it. For them it wasn’t bad anymore to think the exclusion of weaker section as they would have been more mouth to feed. The result, rise of separatist force and naxalism which has plagued our country.
The youth of our country have augured their cold shoulders to the legacy of satisfaction. They yearn for more as heedless consumerism isn’t bad anymore resulting in a steep rise
Of depression and even to an unfortunate end.
For educational institution commercialization of education isn’t bad anymore in fact they suggest it to be imperative. With millions of children still waiting for a day in school, these institutions are more than happy to fill their pockets and do nothing of a sort of affirmative action for them.
Talk on global scale, USA is happy to force Iraq and Afghanistan into civil war. It isn’t bad because a civil war however bad is better than an alleged war against them.
The rise of Tibetan for their own land to avert a situation of cultural genocide is brutally massacred by the Chinese authorities. It isn’t perceived as bad by them and also by us as we still haven’t uttered a word against it.
Where for heaven sake are we heading. In the pursuit of our heedless consumerism we are forgetting the human face; we are forgetting our ethics to choose right and wrong.In the good, the bad and the ugly of modern time the bad seems to give the illusion of good but believe me in the process the face of humanity is becoming ugly

THEORY OF EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!

2008-03-14T12:49:00.000-07:00

Theory of everything ……….well Einstein worked really hard to find an answer. But I have found mine ……it’s not that I have an einsteinesque intelligence, it’s just that I somehow feel that a solution to the problem has just been deciphered by me. Theory of everything is an unification of several laws to one law …the supreme law which reigns over others…I have found the theory of everything , the theory of my life which for me is indeed everything.
I have concocted three theories to form the TOE, the first one …….theory of relativity
Our lives have always been game of comparative behavior, the absoluteness is sporadic.
What you did is not what you are in fact what others did in comparison to your actions decide your success. The ecstasy of scoring high nineties is short-lived as the joy is marred by someone else’s better result…”oh! You did well, but could have done better” I have heard a lot of these …..In fact all of us. So my first theory clearly suggests that the dynamics of your success, failure, joy and everything is being closely scrutinized and compared with the same of others.
The second law…… my personal favorite, the great Murphy’s law….now for all you guys trying to recall where did they heard of such a law in physics should stop doing that. Its not physics in fact it’s a humorous law which states that if any thing can possibly go wrong, it certainly will. Well, that has been a recursive process for me. I for heaven sake don’t understand why the rub of the green is never on my side. May be the lady luck don’t like smiling at me. So when I failed to get a theoretical description for this I resorted to experiments. As you people might know that any universal law has to prove experimentally. So it was diligently done, and man I proved it and in the process got screwed. The portion I left out for exam came, my scariest night mares were always occurring in the true spirit of déjà vu, and countless such experience proved my law. I was screw fully delighted (developing my own sets of adjectives).
The last law……….the chaos theory. Chaos theory describes the behavior of certain non-linear dynamical system that may exhibit dynamics that are highly sensitive to initial conditions. Well to cut it short and make it free of such technical jargon , your intial actions ,however small they seem, will affect your life severly. To make it more plain and simple for all you engineers your counter strike matches on the first day of semester might result in your fluking in a paper or two. Well , I firmly believe in this law because when I was sleeping in my cozy bed in a cold winter morning leaving my first class , the cumulative effect of my short attendance, poor image for the professor , missing the notes and other non dynamical system were growing immensely to lower my GPAs appreciably. So can you believe just an hour of extra sleep ruined it all….

After all these hardship when I finally made the breakthrough ,got the biggest discovery hitherto, Eureka wasn’t the word I uttred nor did a bottle of champagne popped up. It was just me , my introspection , my law ……the law of my life……for me the Theory Of Everything.

Post Script:- I thanks physics ,which has always been one of my love, for (however silly it may seems ) understanding my life .

LAST PAGE!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-29T14:02:00.000-08:00

I am glad, finally I am writing on this topic which was long overdue…..last page has always been the most sacred part of my notebook .I won’t be incorrect if I presume it to be the soul of my notebook .the only page which reveals who you are, is the last page.
I have always spend my time scribbling down my thoughts ,my plans ,my schedule or rather draw a sketch of my life….its beauty lies in it being so surreal.
I have always been true to myself whenever I wrote something in it, dropping my various masks, down from high horses; it’s only me at its purest. It always comes as a sigh of relief when I am bored to death in my class and eventually resort to it for some respite.
At times I end up crossing more than half the way and meet the usual notes where there is a conflict of space ……….may be this conflict is more than just that .
I will be an engineer in a couple of years and still those ICs and diodes do not give me a high as my creative (appreciate my boasting skills) writings does.
But a lot has changed; the smart laptop with its QWERTY keyboard has taken the sheen out of it. But as they say your first love will always remain your first love…………….

2008-02-26T07:49:00.000-08:00

BEING BIHARI

2008-02-22T10:37:00.000-08:00

A scene in chak de India shows the Indian coach bashing the players for not introducing themselves as Indian player .This scene struck an instant chord with the audience and was adulated across India without any fail. And then we lived up to our reputation of being a hypocritic country by doing what is happening in Maharashtra and elsewhere. It is a matter of public discourse for quite some time because of a regional rhetoric of a leader. A demagogic diktat given by him has spelled doom and ordeal for various people shattering the social fabric out there. But it is not a sporadic instance; of late it has become a fashion to bash north Indians in general and Biharis in particular for every wrong thing.
So what it means to be a Bihari, well ask me and I’ll tell you it’s nothing special. We like everybody else have been an integral part of this country who have been subjected to all kind of oppressive and abusive system yet we keep a smile on our face .I have spend my life across 4 different states and met a lot of people from length and breadth of this country and found them just like “us”. I have seen the quintessential Biharis and I can assure you they are among the very best in various discipline. I don’t want to sound clichéd by writing our heroics in IAS, IIT and other academic sphere. It is much above that. It’s about the moral fibre of the people in this country in this particular case. I firmly believe a lot of wrong notion is prevalent in the mental landscape of my fellow brethren who don’t belong to the “political boundary” of Bihar. We should not involve ourselves in the mud-slinging game; instead look at the problem without any predilection towards a particular community and keep our integrity intact.

CLASS ACT!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-02T11:18:00.000-08:00

Never miss an Aamir Film!!!!! That’s for sure. I am really in a state of awe after his directorial debut in TZP.A marvelous film which has caught the popular imagination so convincingly. It was a sign of audacity and genius to go for a subject as fabulous as that. I do not belong to the technical intelligentsia of the film to pass a judgment on its finer points but I do realize the subtle treatment aamir gave to make it a real wonder. My whole hearted praise of aamir is because of a brilliant continuum of films, of which TZP is a part, he has been delivering.
His films seems to have an eloquence of a poet .With due respect to shahrukh I feel aamir has given an apt answer to his comment that messages are for post offices. Without any predilection I can easily say aamir seems to be the most complete actor of his era and the only realistic prospect of an Oscar. His earlier flicks including RDB, DCH have created a cult figure for themselves rendering aamir a legendary position in the industry. I really couldn’t recall when for the last time I bestowed so much of praise on anybody with so many appreciating adjectives but really, I couldn’t help it coz he has really cast a spell on me.

RETROSPECT...........

2008-01-29T01:59:00.000-08:00

I must admit this blog is entirely inspired from the road side teashop chitchat me and my friends underwent a few days back…….. don’t know how we reached to the topic but it was about our past not near one but distant, when we were tiny tots and were often taken for a ride by our relatives.
It is always some formal occasion when we met a lot of intriguing ,unknown relatives.
It all starts with the usual ‘pranam’ and then comes the obvious question .”do you remember me ?” answer……….NO…. and then some one will come to your rescue…”oh! He is your xyz”. This question is always followed by an inference which to me sounds so stupid .”you have grown so big” ….I always wondered what is so special about it ,I mean, haven’t these people learned a bit of biology to understand that human do grow over a period of time.
But then comes the ultimate bombshell “What will you do when you grow up?” .tell me ,who in this world is so certain of his future as distant as probably 2 decade. I hail from a beautiful state called Bihar and believe me this question is not as simple as seems to be…….every child is judged with the answer to this question. I used to answer that I want to be an engineer like my papa or an IAS…the eyes will glitter and every body will take a note of it although I was never sure. One of my friend committed a sin by telling that he wanted to be a chef . His words were found so blasphemous that he was counseled for not doing what he so eagerly wanted.
The best part was when I bid adieu to them relieved and happy to find my solitude .I love these people who always want to help you and in the process are willing to prove how boring they are……………………………

HATS OFF..........

2008-01-28T10:44:00.000-08:00

It is one of those days when you sit and admire a legacy ……….a legend bidding adieu to the people ,to the past and to the game which will have a void which is so very tough to fill………………I bid my adieu to Adam “gilly”gilchrist ,one of the greatest man in my time ever to walk on the ground with such a poise and confidence.
Gilly was not just a fantastic Australian cricketer but also a honest man .I could easily recall the day when he left the field in semis of a tournament when his team was in dire straits without even looking at the umpire ….man he might have left the field but he ran straight into my heart………….his butcher like batting was so unlike the serenity he exhibited all these years…
Bye gilly I’ll never forget your contribution to the game of uncertainty which will always remember (and no uncertainty this time) you as the vanguard of cricket you have been all these years………..may god bless you

DISMANTLING THE WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION

2008-01-13T08:50:00.000-08:00

Finally the weapon of mass destruction is on its verge of dismantalment.After taking lives of thousands of innocent people this WMD will go down in the history books as the most humiliating blot on the face of mankind .Finally the regime of George W. Bush is ending this year.When the whole American regime was searching the WMD in iraq, I was dead sure in my mind where it was………..it lies in the box of bush which instead of being occupied with one of the brain is harbouring a wmd which has left stranded several people in the island of misery and poverty amidst a vast ocean of american material prosperity.
It is of least concern to me to know whether democrats or republican wins coz I’ll have a sigh of relief to see bush hanging his boots which is soiled by the blood of innocent people.
His governance was an epitome of cruel and indifferent regime which kept on flip-floping on several key issues.His so called “war against terrorism” is just a machination of destruction which has left ignominious marks.” Guilt is a rope that wears thin” … but I think his guilt is of such paramount intensity that it would never wear thin ……..amidst such heavy criticism this beleaguered leader still keeps his smile intact as if he has the most clear conscience in this world…….
I bid my adieu to this heinous criminal and hope all the people killed will smile their best
In heaven when he faces the consequences in the hell…….. Amen.

OPTIMISM

2008-01-08T08:36:00.000-08:00

I am writng this most preposterous 4 lines which i call a poem and for others nonsense........

Birdie bird fly in the sky.....,
drop the shit on my eye......,
i don't worry and why should i.........,
i am happy that cows don't fly.

hope this will find a place and change your preconception about poems.............

post script: this is not a last nonsense i am putting forward in the name of a poem ........there are lots to come

THE GREAT INDIAN TAMASHA

2008-01-07T01:02:00.000-08:00

I had an agonising yet quite an eventful opportunity to witness the greatest festival of democracy called election and I must say it was an eye-opener, vacillating my opinion about it. It is nothing short of a complete bullshit,a sham to say the least.
I have always followed the battle of ballet with utmost interest only to find that the election I thought of only existed in the realm of my dreams.My annoyance arises from the way this country is heading …………
The use of liquor ,goons,money was conspicuous with its presence.The castigation of the process will take quite a blogs to satisfy my intense disgust.The problem of caste lies in the first place making the whole process anything but foolproof.
When I asked my father about it ,he summed it up by saying “ now that’s what democracy is in India”………………
Don’t know how to react to it but I must say regardless of whatever happened it has made me wiser…..

EXAM

2007-12-08T14:36:00.000-08:00

My exams are finally fading off and those lull of normal days will take over. Exams gives me an ambivalent feeling .Putting worries at bay is not my style and facing them in an ardent way is not me either. Semester exams are never here to stay but at least it brings a sense of purpose with itself. I might sound cynical but at times I fall in love with this system and when I get screwed in a paper it causes a storm in a teacup and this love and hate relationship continue to foster.
I am writing this blog at 4 am(not that I am a early riser,I haven’t slept yet) after a grueling day of work with my nightmare proving true and messing up my paper big time.
But I am still alive and kicking and preparing for future making exams a perfect example of how life is. It is great teacher of controlling your nerves , being disciplined and remain focused without worrying of what future beckons ,these are qualities I need to develop before I start my journey for a career I long to belong. may be I should start taking these D-days more seriously making every day as a D-day and D-day as any other day.

ETERNAL CLASSES

2007-11-04T01:59:00.000-07:00

Teaching a class of 70 odd engineering student is a daunting task(though made easy by the brilliance of ignorance we exhibit).I feel for my teacher but to be fair I think sitting in such a class is far more gigantic task to do.
It doesn’t require rocket science to realize this fact……………I somehow get a feeling that prof. Einstein should have thought of time being relative while sitting in one of these classes.

Classes are meant for learning though it was never meant the same for me. I have learned the art ,which I am proud of , of not paying any heed to whatever goes. I attain nirvana of a sort while sitting in a class leaving behind my physical body and traveling in the realms of daydreaming with occasional coming back to the classes when the teacher is about to smother me with his question to which I proudly augur the cold shoulder.
I have also proved to myself practically of how fast my imaginations moves.while I sit on my imagination and travels the whole world making 30 rounds of it and come back to the class ,the time seems to move a wee .thus proving my version of theory of relativity .
Bye for now as I enjoy my solitude

Post script :- written in utter disgust after attending most boring classes on the earth and preparing for practical exam on Sunday.

DIL DOST ETC.........

2007-11-02T09:40:00.000-07:00

I watched this movie named dil dosti etc. and it was not a mindblowing nor a pathbreaking of a sort that I will write a blog totally dedicated to it. So why am I taking the pain to mention it.coz sometime a title has a impact far greater than the whole story .
Dil hmmmm bit tricky ……….. intangible is the word to describe it coz I always find it contrary to my grey matter . I ‘ll leave it for time being ………….
Dosti ……essence of life .you start to believe it the time you are alone .I have friends like all and I cant live without them . before I start sounding clichéd I should mention I have never valued friendship before entering college and now I feel I have missed quiet a part of my life.
ETC……..here comes the twist in the tale its not extra …more than is usual , expected,or than exists already(as mentioned in the oxford ….. verbatim)….but it is my engineering branch. electronics & telecommunication a branch where I longed to belong…I got my branch changed a couple of month earlier and I feel lonely at times.but its normal and will fade away with time.
These three things sums up my life to a T at ths point of time.
I have a news to it ……..
May be these three things have a correlation between them coz I have friends ,etc is always there and dil ………………………

INDIA POISED

2007-10-02T13:00:00.000-07:00

INDIA is on a cliffhanger. It is on a path of translation but amidst the entire buzz created, where does perspective of a normal Indian youth lies. India a young country not in terms of its history but the average age of its people. it is on a verge of announcing its arrival on the international scenario . youth or the generation Y as it is said are aware of this very fact.
The biggest challenge to the youth is to carefully tread on the path of success and not to fall in trap of the ill politics, corrupt executive and a sleeping judiciary which might bring us back to square one. The first action which should be taken is active participation in fair
Politics. Our politicians are old heptaocterian species who pay no heed to our aspiration
Though there are exception but then exception are never examples. They should be replaced because a wise man said it’s difficult to make a man understand when his work depends upon not understanding it. I am not an anarchist but things have to change.
The next uphill task is to take corrective measures in our education system
The technology , students, syllabi etc. have seen a paradigm shift but our system is still
unkempt. IIT’s,IIM’s, IISC etc. are centre of excellence which have proved the mettle of Indian but these are few in number. The govt. has ignored the other institute. This is
evident by the fact that a large void is created between other colleges though the intellectual standard of other students are at par with” these” students . I have given special emphasis on “these” for the fact their ideas are considered to be more credible than others which are being proved wrong in recent past.
The next burning issue is reservation . The recent reservation announced has let the demon out of the bottle. The insane people are playing with the future of India on behest of some pity politics. The reservation I am talking also includes the one that comes with the name called “capitation fees”. The meritocracy should prevail.
The booming IT , ITES and other industry has shown what an industry can do
For it’s people. Why can not the same be repeated with the agro industry. The agrarian country is turning into a techno superpower but in midst of realms of success we should not forget their effort which is going unsung.
The social fabric of India has always felt a threat by people who have nothing to do with advancement of our country but still feel to indulge them in “moral policing”
India have seen enough of godhra, bhagalpur and various other inhuman atrocities which can shake even the strongest of belief in humanity. These social evils should be fought with stringent punitive action. The so called western influence with the notion of cultural imperialism is all fake. A wind of change can’t uproot the roots of our culture.
These issues need urgent attention as without addressing them the path of success will remain to be near yet so far. The passion of youth with the experience of old are all set to take on the world making the success not only achievable but inevitable.

ARRIVING ON THE SCENE

2007-10-02T12:50:00.000-07:00

So finally decided to go ahead with my idea of starting a blog to unfold whatever goes inside my brain which usually remains preoccupied with studies!!!!!
Starting with me i am a 20 year old engineering student who think he can write and write sensibly.Being a amateur writer does serve the purpose of bringing into the light the things which usually gets unheeded.